Shall we start with a quote,? Yeah
Our biggest enemy is the past version of us.
Enemy, evil, opponent, or anything is hardest to deal with if its our inner thoughts, feelings, ego or laziness…..name a few. They can be called as ‘Sins’! Easy to fall and harder to escape- Trap. The more you look into the eye of the enemy and say- No more…….you are at peace and growth baby! Now, enemy is increased its strength and power, its not you or inner you……….because:
1. You know yourself and you can face any obstacle that is stopping you from growing.2. You are at peace with yourself.3. Past is no longer holding you back.
So, now what? The enemy is outer world with new challenges, with extreme toxicity and ego,even though you try to escape it, ignore it, deal with it………..its still there and it will be there! But I know you can face that enemy with the same courage, with more understanding……….why? Because if a warrior can stand in front of the mirror and be proud of themselves..can do anything in these world. Be brave!
Expectations we had, we have regarding our life or our surroundings, is worth mentioning as expectations leads to more traumas, depression and lonelness………thing is that we already know it but due to peer presure, and need for belonging it is quit hard to go on with the reality……sadly we have to accept our reality and have to be a little happy in our own dreams of expectations.
Lets talk about expectations in a meanwhile and how it can impact ourselves:
The more I will be self-obsessed the more i can earn and be rich.
° Reality how a self obsessed person is, we all know;)
If I can change the world, I will be happy
° Reality, its really hard to change a one person perspective how can you change the world. Express gratitude and then be happy.
All guys or girls are assholes
°Reality, You are lonely!
Unsolicited advice are best, it gives me hope!
° Reality,. Try therepy its worth it;)
I am smart, dumb, ugly
° Reality its just a phase sometimes we all are smart and sometimes we all are dumb!
Etc etc……………………….The smart person only knows how to thrive and survive, other than that “low intelligent” people is all about gossiping and bitching behind your back!
It does exist when you dont know how you can be yourself anymore? Sometimes I am scared to walk through that door which scares me the most…..the idea, origin, process, application etc is known to me……why does it is stopping me from being who I am?
I took a step towards it, touch the handle and again go back because I can’t, I am scared! What if I wont be enough? What if I will be in a dark place forever? Even though the fact is that I survived everything that was killing me once and I can survive more….but fear of success and unknown is driving me wild. What if it is a failure? Still a lesson?
I have everything, thats the reason i am holding back because deep down I have a belief that i own everything, do I need something more? I still went towards that door and took a deep breath, now more closer than before and still cant do it. I am tired of little by little, or small steps,,,,,if I am ready that long jump wont be a trouble. Ghosts in the inside are more scarier than the ghost outside!
I AM READY TO DIVE IN.
I tried to be a healer and thought that i would always be a healer, a superwoman who does great stuffs to save the world. A remarkable life, i am living since 1 year and I am not proud of it as I am losing myself each day in a process and it feels like I am back to my old depressed self again. I know that I deserve better but still being healer, taking negative energies of others via online or offline, becomes my job. I cant do this anymore,
‘FINDING A WAY TO FIT INTO THE WORLD IS WORSE WE CAN DO TO OURSELF’ .
I wanna be me, from the starting So why i have to heal others first? I know i have everything in my life (god grace) So why i have to think that someone would be there for me? Maybe for sucking my energy. I gain energy, feel good and give others a chance to suck it, And as a healer I would heal myself again and it repeats.
Now, I would do something that makes me feel alive again……..I wish. I deserve so much better. I cant be a healer, I Cant be a superwoman but I can be me:) and Its enough……more than. The Self confidence and Saying No is my new mantra for life.