• Meditation- An unknown battle



    Meditation or yoga whatever name we might use, the effects will remain same. So, it doesnt matter. The real thing is it is a ‘Battle field’ trying to reach towards the highest level of consciousness
    Meditation either done in nature or done in class makes you ‘limitless’. It starts and ends with a cycle or process, taking us on a journey, that has alot of surprises and turnovers as:
    * No phone aka personal or business life.
    * No noise (if it is morning).
    * no eating,walking or making overselves busy.
    * Trying not to overthink.
    * And focusing on a _breathe_.

           Please inhale and exhale
    A quick remainder, the person cannot switch their minds completely off, its impossible…….but with a practice its easier for anyone to bring back their attention where they left it. Why it is called a ‘Battle field’?
       The battle will begin the day of your excitement ‘yes, I am gonna be fit’ and ends when you can finally be at ease and comfort with process. The cycle continues.
       More we think about it, more we feel scary to take steps towards it but trust me….you will not remain same once you know yourself. Body ache, overanalyizing thoughts, frstrution, focus detantion all are signs that you are at the right path, there is no going back no matter what.
    ‘He is so lame’, ‘why me’, ‘What to do next’, oh shit i get blank during the process ‘I am so dumb’! Shit shit

    The struggle




    Whats the difference between an average person and a strong person,
          ‘The ability to express gratitude in every situation’.

    Ahh…. sometimes i forgot what to write. Let me think once.
    Gratitude is expressing emotions towards certain  experience and person in our life. Its a very powerfull tool and it doesnt matter if we express it correctly or not, you do that matters.
    It can be used such as to uplift ourselves, praise, feeling happy and feeling sad.

    It can be so intense that you start to see life even in lifeless events and person, and that realizes us with a fact that we have everything, despite how we look and what we go through, as we are more than that.

    The best example of gratitude would be the disney movie ‘Soul’. Once upon a time, two souls meet at unknown place and both were finding a purpose to live their life and got stuck together. Form their onwards the drama starts and it ends with a finest detail that both are negalcting, the life is beautiful because of small experiences and lessons it has hidden for both of them. They find peace and go on living. The end

      The sad reality is expressing gratitude means we have to belive in god and there is no such thing as god. Maybe you are right but there is such thing as life. That left us with wanting more and more, to satisfy us and at the end we left dis-stastifed even more. Living life with our own terms and expressing gratitude each time is one of the beautiful experiences, i have ever know. Let me think, there are more to experience than before….hmm hmm.

  • Style- Statement

    Style- Statement

    One of the greatest thing we can do for ourselves…..is the makeover we deserve.

    Choose what is good for your heart and gives you a confidence boast for working out or anything in general.

    I like long hairs,,,,, it suits me. Pink or black nailpolish…there is no in between. Statement earrings and a tint of bold makeup. Short dresses is must…..uhm more to add on list but firstly I have to find myself and what suits my entire personality wink wink.


  • How to be yourself- A guide


    It requires so much courage to actually be yourself or follow your heart or mind. A example of this would be : I was reading a book called ‘An indian girl’ and its story is somewhat…..okay nevermind highly feels like my story.
    Because she is crazy like me, doing a job and making alots of money and living in foreign country, meeting new people and falling in love…..the last part is related to me.
    The more I looked at it, the more I feel bad for her…..she knows everything expect of how to be herself, how to be beautiful by her own…..and thats what puts her in the position she never expects{ I still have to finish it}
       So i thought for a while.. I can really be myself and enjoy life at its fullest (either its a healing process or just a nap….full of dreams).
       So How I can make that dream come true?
      – Beauty regime- Taking care of my skin, nails, is a first step towards right direction
      – Rereading a book- Because a genius rereads and update his or her learning
      – Making my hair- Thats something i always avoid twice
      – Living like a queen- Yes my baby, I am the queen!
      – Smiling for no reason
      – Working (dont forget that we have to work)
      – Dancing- well, I want to seduce someone and that someone is me;)
      – Gratitude
      – Journaling
      – How to be a good speaker- I was watching that video and damn it was so good…..count me in.
      – Trying to be social
      And so much I can add to the list……but slowly baby slowly. I think the most important one would be “diet”. Hehe, that makes me feel so light and energetic. Bye!

  • Expressing Gratitude for- 2022

    I was down for so long….and cant think of any positvity whatsoever. I thought what if I express gratitude through blog with some of the cute silly things I did or achieve….
    30 things I am greatfull for (or trying to)
    1. Heightened senses or Self- awarness.
    2. Able to express various emotions such as fear and lonileness.
    3. Being able to eat healthy and do cardio or yoga at my own pace.
    4. Able to ask for help.
    5. Good body & posture.
    6. Increased stamina and flexibilty of body even for shorter period of time.
    7. Completed 20+ followers on my page…
    8. Smiling through pain.
    9. Done advance asans.
    10. Able to love but not recive .
    11. How to compliment others.
    12. Self-care or adopting Skin care.
    13. Reading books.
    14. Helping others.
    15. Reflecting towards my shadow self.
    16. Learning new things.
    17. Have a goal or vision.
    18. Trying to aploize myself
    19. Loving the idea of “Indoor plants”.
    20. Acting like a child in order to heal, or learn.
    21. Crying.
    22. Listening to songs
    23. Listening to hearbeat…wow
    24. Finding my puppy is no longer a small puppy, he grows up.
    25. Establishing healthy boundries.
    26. Focusing on vision.
    27. Having faith.
    28. No longer need someone to love me.
    29. Painting my nails.
    30. I am alive.

  • I left

    I left

    I left……..I left good things, i left exploring new things, i left creating art by my hands….and then saying why I am not feeling good enough? The only reason is if I left everything……i wont be learning anything. I wont be struggling, getting pain and pain and rising over it. I dont know the real failure, doubts, feedbacks, successes. No matter why I am feeling lonely.

    There is good old talking, you dont have motivation to do something….you create motivation and i guess that hits me hard everytime i stops.

  • Selfless, Selfish, Selfless

    Selfless, Selfish, Selfless


    Selfless, Selfish, Selfless! Its hard to decide which side to go…….I always wanted good for me growth, happiness,,,,,,,but i thought the only way to actually get is by being selfless removing the I, me term from my dictionary. Peace is within myself,’I am whom I wanted to be’ period, why I am getting self obessed? Why  I cant be selfless?

    My mother always tell me that if you give to others, you will get more than what you gave, Now its making alot of sense this relasation gave me hope and courage, most importanly some questions
    – One day, I will also be a mother, will I be selfish?
    – I want to be a teacher, will i be partial towards my students?
    – Because of a failure, Should i give up?

    Now, I know where i am standing……….just where my ex is standing. A selfish, terrified, hopeless and broken girl. I wanna be Selfless and that makes me more of who I am and how a lady should be and behave. Selfless in simple terms means caring about others more than our own needs and I guess thats the best way to heal.

  • I Have problems


    I hate calling myself a “Victim”………..but now I have to. Its hard to elaborate but i am victim of mental abuse, sexual abuse (as seemless as it looks in my blogs) and most importatly, diagonsed with pcod, Recent 4 months were good when I started mediating due to this
    – I gained weight
    – Symptoms of pcod and abuse reduces
    – Made new friends
    – Increase in stamina

    I had this feeling of stress deeply rooted inside me, seems like sometimes its hard to even handle myself in some situations. I have hairs all over my face period……..the struggle is real and painfull, I know people wont say anything because of hurting me with their words but I know they want to. How long I have to keep myself strong?  How long I have to keep looking for solutions? I am tired and just going with the flow of life.
      Actually, I am strong……if I can wake up early in the morning in such a cold whether in order to mediate, I can do anything. Requires time money and patience…still feeling down:'(

  • Expectations V/s Reality

    Nia Hao,

    Expectations we had, we have regarding our life or our surroundings, is worth mentioning as expectations leads to more traumas, depression and lonelness………thing is that we already know it but due to peer presure, and need for belonging it is quit hard to go on with the reality……sadly we have to accept our reality and have to be a little happy in our own dreams of expectations.
        Lets talk about expectations in a meanwhile and how it can impact ourselves:
        The more I will be self-obsessed the more i can earn and be rich.
        ° Reality how a self obsessed person is, we all know;)
        If I can change the world, I will be happy
        ° Reality, its really hard to change a one person perspective how can you change the world. Express gratitude and then be happy.
        All guys or girls are assholes
        °Reality, You are lonely!
        Unsolicited advice are best, it gives me hope!
        ° Reality,. Try therepy its worth it;)
        I am smart, dumb, ugly
        ° Reality its just a phase sometimes we all are smart and sometimes we all are dumb!
        Etc etc……………………….The smart person only knows how to thrive and survive, other than that “low intelligent” people is all about gossiping and bitching behind your back!

  • Sparkle fades- As reality strikes in


    The more I look back, the more I laugh…I lived a life worth mentioning, dreams after dreams, motivation after motivation…..Alots of books on different topics, doing whatever the fuck I wanted and then giving myself a name ‘Special’. Lol

    As I move on I realized that sometimes its okay to not do or know something…..to not read every book before writing, or asking for a bill from a waiter lol. Just doing whatever we wanted, is classified as we dont have anything logical going in our life., so brain as to do something. The more reality strikes the more we know, everything was just useless…. making memories, everything, at last the thing you have done a day before or doing today is visible in your eyes or bad past…nothing new or nothing good. Being special is divine, it holds so much power that we had to become a god lol no.

    The type of things I heard during this phase:
    – Belive in yourself
    – Go with your heart
    – Trust your gut
    – learn to love yourself
    – Be special
    – Be at a moment
    – Forgive
    – Heal
    – Love

    Dont you think we already know this, it will matter only when we heard from others? Nahh
    Ahh worth mentioning…..Fanatises. With the end of fantises and dramas, I am going to change my site settings and try to catch up with reality.

  • Floral Vibes

    Floral vibes😄