Posted in feelings, hurt, mental state

Expressing Gratitude for- 2022

I was down for so long….and cant think of any positvity whatsoever. I thought what if I express gratitude through blog with some of the cute silly things I did or achieve….
30 things I am greatfull for (or trying to)
1. Heightened senses or Self- awarness.
2. Able to express various emotions such as fear and lonileness.
3. Being able to eat healthy and do cardio or yoga at my own pace.
4. Able to ask for help.
5. Good body & posture.
6. Increased stamina and flexibilty of body even for shorter period of time.
7. Completed 20+ followers on my page…
8. Smiling through pain.
9. Done advance asans.
10. Able to love but not recive .
11. How to compliment others.
12. Self-care or adopting Skin care.
13. Reading books.
14. Helping others.
15. Reflecting towards my shadow self.
16. Learning new things.
17. Have a goal or vision.
18. Trying to aploize myself
19. Loving the idea of “Indoor plants”.
20. Acting like a child in order to heal, or learn.
21. Crying.
22. Listening to songs
23. Listening to hearbeat…wow
24. Finding my puppy is no longer a small puppy, he grows up.
25. Establishing healthy boundries.
26. Focusing on vision.
27. Having faith.
28. No longer need someone to love me.
29. Painting my nails.
30. I am alive.

Posted in Express, mental state

I Have problems


I hate calling myself a “Victim”………..but now I have to. Its hard to elaborate but i am victim of mental abuse, sexual abuse (as seemless as it looks in my blogs) and most importatly, diagonsed with pcod, Recent 4 months were good when I started mediating due to this
– I gained weight
– Symptoms of pcod and abuse reduces
– Made new friends
– Increase in stamina

I had this feeling of stress deeply rooted inside me, seems like sometimes its hard to even handle myself in some situations. I have hairs all over my face period……..the struggle is real and painfull, I know people wont say anything because of hurting me with their words but I know they want to. How long I have to keep myself strong?  How long I have to keep looking for solutions? I am tired and just going with the flow of life.
  Actually, I am strong……if I can wake up early in the morning in such a cold whether in order to mediate, I can do anything. Requires time money and patience…still feeling down:'(

Posted in mental state, thoughts

Bullying & Trolling- A form of mental abuse and ways to tackle it.


I took a special care not on how would I look or dress, how should I style my hair or should I put accesories or just leave it as usual? Because none of these would matter if we are mentally tortured, abused or down……as it is just a makeup to cover our pain or if we are thinking so much about it- then we are self obessesed (Self centred people are horrible in bed, that’s a truth)

    I took a special care on how my mental state would be……..and if my mental state is in right condition…… apperance takes a hit. That’s an acheivement…….hurray!
Nothing is worse for mental health than “Bullying & Trolling”, which is done:
– In order to Satisfy one’s ego (do they have real confidence?)
– Revenge
– Going with flow
– Feeling superior
– They have done something and its a coverup
– Lack of self esteem

The matter in our hands or in those whom we trust should be handle with care, otherwise the trust is no longer persent and it turns into toxicity ie. Bullying and trolling. These has nothing to do with immaturity (some are highely educated or professional), these has to do with how they see themselves or value themselves…….what there or mine goals are? That’s just matters at the end..nothing else. (Self-care is present…mhh)

The more we are self aware or have goals in life ie. Education or job, more we know how to find peace.